Jamie and Tina
When Tina McHugh volunteered for a finite number of hours to work with people with disabilities during her high school senior year, she could not know that meeting Jamie there would lead to becoming his foster parent, and then adopting him seven years later with her husband Chris.
Today, 30 years later, the family just finished experiencing one of their most challenging times since meeting Jamie.
“Jamie had two emergency surgeries right in the pandemic,” Tina said. “We have been in and out of hospitals for the past eight weeks, on top of everything else going on in the world. Today I’m glad to say Jamie is doing great.”
With Jamie barely out of the woods, Tina was itching to help others, an itch she often has. She started by delivering goodie bags to the children who attend her daycare that she runs at home.
“The important thing was that the children and Jamie see each other,” Tina said. “These are young children who can’t understand why they can’t see Jamie or their friends. We waved and honked from the car. It was a blast.”
Next she and her daughter Allison made masks and compiled kits—with puzzles, soaps, books, cookies, and more—for an elderly home in Lee. “We just left them at the doorways, anonymously. They’ll be surprised and know that people are thinking of them.”
Jamie and Chris
Next she nominated her surgeon–Dr. Georgios Orthopoulis–for the JetBlue Healthcare Hero, where he won a flight for two anywhere the airline flies. “I don’t know if the free miles are important to him, but I wanted him to know that he was appreciated, that he saved Jamie’s life, and that we’ll never forget it.”
“He is a reminder for all of us about what’s important in life. He doesn’t ask us for a new car, or a better house. He just smiles with us and enjoys every moment.”
Fighting Hospitals
Tina doesn’t have the same feelings toward all her healthcare providers. “Jamie is a grown adult, so hospital rules state no one can stay with him. I explain that he needs help, that he is non-verbal, that he needs me for comfort and to communicate. I fight tooth and nail to stay and hope they don’t call security, which they almost always do. They tell me they will sedate him, which is supposed to comfort me. Why sedate him? Just let me stay with him. Some understand. Some are learning, and we’re all going to keep teaching.” She added, chuckling: “Most of the security guards know me around here.”
Tina has contacted all her elected officials about this particular disabilities issue. “I know rule changes like this take time. It’s a plan in the works. Until then, every hospital visit is so stressful for so many families.”
Recently the Commonwealth announced new rules allowing family members to accompany individuals with disabilities. “Perhaps they are listening after all,” says Tina.
The Backstory: Both Parents Murdered
When Jamie lost his mom as a kid, the police found him and his twin brother draped over the body. The father had killed her. The father was stabbed to death not long after in Las Vegas. “This is what we learned from the death certificates when we made the move to adopt Jamie,” Tina said. “I remember Jamie’s papers said ‘unadoptable.’ But that was 30 years ago.”
In 2000, they brought Jamie and his brother—who is now married with his own children—to meet their extended family in Liverpool, England. “Everyone had wondered what happened to the twin boys. It was a wonderful reunion.”
Jamie with the McHugh’s daughter Allison. Allison has moved next door and her son and Jamie have become best friends.
Tina and Chris’ daughter Allison bought a house next door. Allison’s son is one of Jamie’s best friends. “He can’t get enough of Jamie,” Tina said. “The kids at daycare, and my grandson, these are the young people, the next generation, who Jamie is teaching to be compassionate and understand the differences in people. He is a reminder for all of us about what’s important in life. He doesn’t ask us for a new car, or a better house. He just smiles with us and enjoys every moment.”
BCArc’s Role
BCArc staff provide a range of support for the McHugh’s, including routine visits, for the past 10 years as part of the Adult Family Care program.
“It’s important to check in, hear how things are going, offer guidance, maybe connect them to other families through activities and events,” said Ida Patella, a case manager for the program.
AnnMarie Cairns, a BCArc nurse in the program, helps the family understand medical recommendations from their providers, and advocate for the family. “This was a very tough time for Jamie, and we’re all so glad Jamie and his family got through it. They are an amazing family.”
Ida added, “Tina can’t help but pay it forward. She is always looking for ways to help people and does this in such thoughtful and caring ways that make you feel special and valued.”
